I have always been very hard on myself. I have always pushed my time and talents to the limit to give, give, give. I am not really boasting, am just stating facts. I really don’t know how to live a day that is about me. I think I need to learn. I have not one idea how to start. The only thing I really do for myself is walk every day for 15 to 20 minutes and go to Curves when I can. But then I think to myself, is this for me or is this for my husband.
Before I was harnessed with so much responsiblity I loved to spend my days at art and history museums and singing, singing always seemed to heal me. I could sit at the piano and literally heal myself from any kind of external pain from this senselessly cruel world. But now, it is like I don’t even know how to open up the piano and play even a chord for my personal enjoyment, let alone to make the “spirit me” feel better.
Today as part of the year of change I want to take a little time and just be me. The funny thing is, I am crying just typing this because it scares me. I honestly don’t know how.
Do you ever feel this way as a mom or just a person in general? Is it hard to push everthing aside and just focus on your personal needs?